An overnight stay in a hospital is doable. A week stay is worse. I was an in-patient for almost a month. I don’t wish that on anyone no matter the reason they are there.
Read part four HERE.
I will admit at first I was looking forward to making a home away from home in room 246. I couldn’t rest at my real home. I felt like I should be up doing something, anything to pass the time. The thought of laying in bed (I was soooo tired all the time), napping the days away and watching my babies grow under more than one watchful eye pleased me. Looking back now I can say that I was stupid. Dumb. Clueless.
This is what I’d like to tell my naive self: It’s lonely there. When you’re two hours from home visitors come, but can’t stay long and they don’t come as often as you’d like. Sure, they come twice a week and Matt stays the weekend. But you’ll still feel abandoned and cry yourself to sleep every night. You’ll spend your 33rd birthday alone. It’s loud. You’re supposed to be getting much-needed rest, but all the sounds of distressed pregnancies keep you awake. Blood draws and IV replacements at 5am wake you after you feel like you just closed your eyes to. Doctors do their rounds before the sun comes up, ya know. You’ll get poked and prodded, examined and re-examined before you even get to have breakfast. Speaking of…the food is awful. You’ll cry over the food. And because you are diabetic you’ll have to deal with the dietary nazi. She looks like she just graduated high school and is demanding you eat this and not that. She’s a complete bitch and you’ll loathe her every day presence. You will miss not being able to breathe the cool February air. Only once will you get outside. And it’s just for a second. You will be in the hospital for 26 days.
And just when you think you can’t take anymore the babies will come and you will finally become a mother. Jase, Henley, and Sadie will make your greatest dream come true. Those tiny babies will fill your heart with a love that the sweetest words cannot explain. You will pray every single night for them and for you. You will pray that you and Matt can give them the life they so deserve because they have given you the life you were meant to live.